Look, I'm not bragging about it. I'm no more worthy of accolades on this matter than any one of my divorced friends and relatives. Life has not always a bed of roses either; just as in the economy, externalities shift and expectations change, excitement can give way to disappointment, disappointment to grief, and new realities set in. But in our 25 years of marriage, we've been witness to a great deal of divorce, which substantively impacted our family and relationships.
No matter how close you imagine yourself to be to someone, you're not that person and they are not you. The unity is plural. Perceptions matter a little, to be sure, but having a good grasp of reality and an emotional balance between empathy and self-interest matters much more. That means taking time to be reflective together, actively exercising empathy and not just entertaining yourselves on a date night and slugging through chores the rest of your time. Or in the case of those struggling with a loss or divorce, taking a year off to normalize your emotional response to relationships.